Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Most Important Day?

As a former bride, I totally resent the fact that the wedding industry shoves the notion down the throat of all brides that the wedding is [the] most important day of a female's life.  I am still an avid follower of all-things wedding and I'm constantly surprised that so many years after the feminist revolution we are still bombarded with these messages.  What is even worse is that the majority of women take this message to heart and place so much importance on the wedding that they forget what the hell a wedding is for.

My wedding day was a great day.  But, my husband and I have had many great days after that and we will have more in the future.  The wedding is but ONE great day in the series of wonderful times that you and your partner will share.  Unfortunately between the flowers, cake, dress, and wedding decor the meaning of the day sometimes gets lost in the shuffle.  I can speak for this personally and there were many times I had to step back and force myself to focus  on what was being celebrated, the marriage. 

So, why are women still being hit over the head with this message of the wedding day as being the Reigning-Supreme Day in a lifetime?  Not only does that make other accomplishments in a lifetime look incorrectly insignificant, it places an insurmountable amount of pressure to make the wedding perfect.  

I believe that this message harkens back to the days in which the only huge life event they were allowed to have would have been the wedding.  After the ring was placed on their finger, the shackle closed around their ankle and the woman was only allowed to roam a certain distance from the kitchen like a dog chained in the backyard.  There were not many women graduating, starting businesses, getting promotions, buying cars, or running for political office.

Times have changed and I think the idea behind weddings should change as well.  A lot of people say that even the way that a marriage proposal comes about is still male dominant because it's usually the man who buys the ring and plans the proposal.  I guess the appropriate modern-woman response would be that it should be a joint decision between the two adults that they should get married.  (Though, I'll admit that this scenario isn't the romantic dream that girls have been spoon-fed since childhood... but also, why is that the story girls are told?) 

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